Started a little late
So My 2009 seems to have started a little late. it didnt feel that it started because i didnt celebrate new year eve at home counting down to a new year. In fact i was in Thailand going thru this new year transistion.
The vacation camouflaged the year transistion very well and it sort of like extended my 2008 for another 10 days. And enough of the new year resolution stuff which somehow I tend to do yearly even though i didnt really look forward to making them.
Its a bliss in the end.
Like any other good trip i have made to Thailand I have plenty of ideas in my mind that i would like to pen down. Good ones and bad ones and uncertain ones.
In fact even on the plane back to Singapore, i am still in a soft denial that my holiday isnt going to end. This is not a holiday but more of an immersion for me. An immersion into an environment which i find that is very suitable for me to be in. For those who are finding this a little hard to comphrehend, this is actually my desire to want to retire in North Thailand. Especially Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai.
i had a good 12 day stay this time round and have a greater exposure to the life in North Thailand. Chiang Mai ( which I have visited for 3 times already ) has progressed. Now there are more traffic jams. Chiang Rai is a more watered down version of Chiang Mai thus a slower and casual life there. Nevertheless both are equally conducive for city dwellers like me to take 3 steps back and taste life in a very different light.
I was robbed of a few things when i hit Chiang Mai this time round.
1) No TV
2) No Phone
3) No news/newspaper
4) No internet
This has proven to be good for me. i didnt “started” to live without them. In fact i didnt try at all this time. I just lived without them. There was no need to have them. And yes i left my Ipod touch at home too. So there was no Ipod Touch that i can fiddle with. I stayed in a hotel with TV but i didnt switch it on. I brought poker cards but i didnt played a game with it with my wife ( we always do but we didnt at all this time)
So its all sharper. Senses are shaper. My concentration started to shift towards different things. My mind started to wander. As there are no other distractions (1-4), i am able to try to answer the questions that arised in my mind.
Day in day out. Probably because its all new. Perhaps. Perhaps its all a vacation. It all seemed well to have less city stuff and more down to earth travelling. From the time i touch down back in Singapore till now everything seemed very detached. i have no intention to want to feel part of the city again. My heart starts to shrink till it feels trapped and suffocated. I sigh at the way the life is now in the city.
I am going to get back to work like tomorrow. Oh its just agony perhaps.
Its all not so meaningful anymore. What i do . its just sad that its all an illusion that all are good. but all are not.
In chiangmai people harvest from the earth. Food.
In Singapore… the so call “service” industry is not so meaningful afterall. like air. You can not see it. but yet you need it.
It doesnt make sense but it neednt be. I know perhaps in a weeks time i will get used to this cold city again. But i know i would move to where i need to in a clearer direction sooner.
